Funny Dumb Quotes

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.


"He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech."
Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands.


"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."
Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.


"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter



"A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn

Helpful Warnings: "CAUTION: Knife is very sharp. Keep out of children"


"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."


As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. - Weisert


"We apologize for the error in last week's paper
in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."

-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper


"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."

-Batman costume warning label

"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
-Gerry Brown


"I was provided with addtional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony


"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."

-Parish Magazine

Source for some of quotes

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