Funny Quotes by Sports Commentators

"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman)

“It’s so different from the scenes in 1872, at the Cup Final none of us can remember.” (John Motson)

Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50."

"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost." (Frank Bruno)

"Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers." (Murray Walker)

"I can't tell who's leading. It's either Oxford or Cambridge." (John Snagge - Boat Race between Oxford and Cambridge)

'I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better'. (Ron Atkinson).

He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces.' (Ron Atkinson)

'I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat' (Ron Atkinson)

'For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip' (John Motson)

Other than his mistakes, he hasn't put a foot wrong. (Brian Johnston)

Fred Titmus has two short legs, one of them square. (Brian Johnston)

"As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is 5th" (Murray Walker)

“I am sitting here with my chin on the counter, my mouth open like a great big whale scooping up plankton. I am gobsmacked!” (David Duffield, cycling)

This is like Wimbledon., Ascot and Silverstone all wrapped in together and plonked in the middle of Paris: amazing! (David Duffield, cycling)

If you’ve got a grandmother in a wheelchair, now’s the time to take her for a walk so she needn’t see this! (David Duffield, cycling)

Related

Great Sports Commentators

David Coleman athletics
Harry Carpenter boxing
Eamon Andrews boxing
Barry Davies football
Peter O'Sullevan horse racing
John Motson Football
Dan Maskell tennis
Bill McClaren rugby union
Eddie warring rugby league
peter Alliss golf
Richie Benaud cricket
Top 10 Sportsmen of all time
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Aung Sun Suu Kyi Quotes




"It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it."

Aung Sun Suu Kyi

"Concepts such as truth, justice and compassion cannot be dismissed as trite when these are often the only bulwarks which stand against ruthless power."

Aung Sun Suu Kyi

"The quintessential revolution is that of the spirit, born of an intellectual conviction of the need for change in those mental attitudes and values which shape the course of a nation's development."

Aung Sun Suu Kyi

"We have faith in the power to change what needs to be changed but we are under no illusion that the transition from dictatorship to liberal democracy will be easy, or that democratic government will mean the end of all our problems."


Aung Sun Suu Kyi Biography

Aung Sun Suu Kyi Quotes at Wikipedia
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Quotes Aristotle

Aristotle, polymath, philosopher and key figure in development of western civilisation.
One swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day; and so too one day, or a short time, does not make a man blessed and happy.
Aristotle (Ethics (I.1098a18)

The life of money-making is one undertaken under compulsion, and wealth is evidently not the good we are seeking; for it is merely useful and for the sake of something else.

Aristotle Nicomachean Ethics (I.1096a5)
Piety requires us to honor truth above our friends.
- Aristotle (Nicomachean Ethics I.1096a16)
Man is by nature a political animal. (I.1253a2)
- Aristotle Politics (IV.1291b34)

The basis of a democratic state is liberty.
- Aristotle Politics (IV.1291b34)

He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.
- Aristotle Politics (IV.1291b34)

If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in the government to the utmost.
- Aristotle Politics (IV.1291b34)

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.
- Aristotle Poetry (1451b6)

If, then, God is always in that good state in which we sometimes are, this compels our wonder; and if in a better this compels it yet more. And God is in a better state. And life also belongs to God; for the actuality of thought is life, and God is that actuality; and God's self-dependent actuality is life most good and eternal.
Aristotle (Metaphysics - XII.1072b24)

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Robin Hood Fact or Fiction?


From the fourteenth century, there are definitely ballads that refer to a character, known as 'Robin Hood'.

These ballads were surviving in the 15th or early 16th Century.
* A Gest of Robyn Hode
* Robin Hood and the Monk
* Robin Hood and the Potter


They depict an outlaw who was in conflict with the law, an in particular, the Sheriff of Nottingham.

In the medieval period, the names Robin and Hood were both very common. Looking at registers, there are many people called Robin Hood. Some of these Robin Hood's were also wanted by the law.

It is quite likely, these ballads were based on a real person, who exhibited, at least, some of the characteristics we associate with the modern version of Robin Hood.

It would be very surprising if there wasn't a real person who was in conflict with the law and the then Sheriff of Nottingham.

However, these early ballads were often vague about details and specifics of Robin Hood. Over the Centuries, play writes, authors and movie producers have added and adapted different characters and ideas to the legend of Robin Hood.

It is likely that the Robin Hood referred to in the early ballads was not a dispossessed aristocrat, but just a yeoman, which was basically a commoner. These early ballads also placed Robin Hood in the thirteenth or fourteenth century so he wouldn't have had any national political role such as supporting King Richard III.

In a way Robin Hood has become a symbol of a character we would like to idealise. Someone fighting injustice, standing up for women and the poor, being loyal to the rightful King, being physically strong and skilled. Writers have had full scope to create Robin Hood in their own image. But, back in history, there would have been someone with at least some of these attributes and characteristics.
Wharfedale Autumn
One thing is certain, that there is no historical 'Robin Hood' who is recorded as doing everything portrayed in movies. If someone had played such a key role in leading Saxons to revolt over Normans (1937 Errol Flynn) he would have had greater historical mention.

Also many ideas such as Maid Marion, Friar Tuck, were conveniently added many centuries after Robin Hood was first mentioned. Maid Marian was not associated with Robin Hood, until the book, Thomas Love Peacock in 1822.

However, though modern versions have added colour, ideas and characters, there are still certain similarities with early versions and perhaps the real Robin Hood. Robin Hood is still a man of his time seeking to create a better life, amidst the injust and cruelty of those in power.

View: Robin Hood Biography
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Beethoven's Greatest Works

Beethoven was a composer of extraordinary versatility and genius. It is hard to pick his greatest works, but these are some of the best known and most famous pieces.

Piano Sonatas

  • Sonata in C sharp minor, op. 27, nr. 2 “The Moonlight Sonata”
  • Sonata in F minor, op. 57, “Appassionata”
  • Sonata in C minor, op. 13, “Pathetique”
  • "Für Elise" Bagatelle No. 25 in A minor (WoO 59 and Bia 515) for solo piano,

Symphonies

  • Symphony No. 3 "Eroica"; in E flat major (Op. 55)
  • Symphony No. 5 in C minor
  • Symphony No. 9 in D minor, including well known "Ode to Joy".

Opera

  • 'Fidelio'

Mass

  • Missa Solemnis D Major, Op. 123

Concertos

  • Concerto for violin in D by Ludwig van Beethoven
  • Piano Concerto no. 5 “Emperor” in E flat major op. 73

String Quartets

  • Beethoven: String Quartets Op 131 & 135 / Bernstein by Ludwig van Beethoven
Related

Beethoven's Greatest Hits at Amazon.com

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Famous Nurses

"Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation, as any painter's or sculptor's work; for what is the having to do with dead canvas or dead marble, compared with having to do with the living body, the temple of God's spirit? It is one of the Fine Arts: I had almost said, the finest of Fine Arts."
- Florence Nightingale
  • Florence Nightingale. Trained as a nurse and volunteered for Crimean War - was shocked by the low standards of treating wounded soldiers. She sought to improve standards of cleanliness. Her biggest contribution to nursing probably came after the war when her statistical analysis of fatality rates helped show ways to improve the success rate of treatment. Ironically, she found some of her own methods gave a low success rate. But, her presence and profile helped giving nursing a much higher profile and led to big improvements in the standing of the profession.
  • Walt Whitman (1819 – 1892) - Poet famous for his lyrical poety ' I celebrate and sing myself.' was also a nurse in the American civil war.
  • Mary Todd Lincoln (1818 – 1882): The wife of President Abraham Lincoln was a well-educated young woman from Lexington, Kentucky.
  • Clara Barton (1821 – 1912): Clare began her nursing career at the age of 11. She is also known as the founder of the Red Cross, which began as she carried supplied to the battlefield during the Civil War.
  • Mary Seacole. A contemporary of Florence Nightingale who also served in the Crimean war, though gained less publicity at the time.
  • Edith Cavell - Trained as a nurse in the early 1900s. Worked in Belgium, where she founded one of the first Nursing journals. Played a key role in training other nurses. During World War I, she was arrested for aiding allied prisoners of war escape occupied Belgium. She was tried for treason and executed by the occupying German army. Before her execution she said to her Anglican priest that
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Famous English Quotes




"And therefore I am come amongst you at this time, not as for my recreation or sport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live or die amongst you all; to lay down, for my God, and for my kingdom, and for my people, my honour and my blood, even the dust. I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart of a king, and of a king of England, too."

— Queen Elizabeth I

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon England's mountains green
And was the holy lamb of God
On England's pleasant pastures seen

And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon our clouded hills
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among those dark Satanic mills

Bring me my bow of burning gold
Bring me my arrows of desire
Bring me my spears o'clouds unfold
Bring me my chariot of fire

I will not cease from mental fight
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
'Til we have built Jerusalem
In England's green and pleasant land
'Til we have built Jerusalem
In England's green and pleasant land

- William Blake, Jerusalem

See also: Great British Quotes
Top 100 English people
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Quotes David Livingstone

David Livingstone - Christian missionary, explorer and campaigner against slave trade.

'Yes'
In reply to the famous question by Henry Morton Stanley, spoken on November 10, 1871, in Ujiji near Lake Tanganyika in present-day Tanzania.
"Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"

"Cannot the love of Christ carry the missionary where the slave-trade carries the trader? I shall open up a path to the interior or perish."
- David Livingstone

"Fear God and work hard."

"I am immortal till my work is accomplished," he wrote. "And although I see few results, future missionaries will see conversions following every sermon. May they not forget the pioneers who worked in the thick gloom with few rays to cheer, except such as flow from faith in the precious promises of God's Word."

"I will place no value on anything I have or may possess, except in relation to the kingdom of Christ. If anything will advance the interests of that kingdom, it shall be given away or kept only as by giving or keeping of it I shall most promote the glory of Him to whom I owe all my hopes in time and eternity."

"People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay?"
Biography David Livingstone
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Quotes Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Christian theologian and symbol of German resistance to Hitler.

"In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don’t insist on your rights, don’t blame each other, don’t judge or condemn each other, don’t find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts…"

— Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters and Papers from Prison)

"There is meaning in every journey that is unknown to the traveler."
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don’t insist on your rights, don’t blame each other, don’t judge or condemn each other, don’t find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts…"

"Who stands firm? Only the one for whom the final standard is not his reason, his principles, his conscience, his freedom, his virtue, but who is ready to sacrifice all these, when in faith and sole allegiance to God he is called to obedient and responsible action: the responsible person, whose life will be nothing but an answer to God's question and call."

— Dietrich Bonhoeffer


"In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude. It is so easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements compared with what we owe to the help of others."
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters and Papers from Prison)

"Music... will help dissolve your perplexities and purify your character and sensibilities, and in time of care and sorrow, will keep a fountain of joy alive in you."
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer



"In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich."
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich."
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"time is the most valuable thing that we have, because it is the most irrevocable."
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters and Papers from Prison)

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Famous Last Words

Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.
~Jesus Christ - Luke 23:46

'Patriotism is not enough, I must have no hatred or bitterness to anyone.'
- Edith Cavell

'Play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out.'
~ John Cranmer to his friend Nicholas Ridley, as they were both about to be burned as heretics for their teachings and beliefs outside Balliol College, Oxford (16 October 1555);

'I see heaven open and Jesus on the right hand of God'
~ Thomas Cranmer 1556 Burnt at Stake for heresy.

'Fancy being remembered around the world for the invention of a mouse.'
~ Walt Disney 1966. Said during last illness.

'Am I dying or is this my birthday?'
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

'I am ready to die for my Lord, that in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace.'
~~ Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, d.1170

'Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.'
~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, d. March 26, 1827

'This is no time to make enemies'
~ Voltaire (when asked to forswear Satan)

Et tu, Brute?
Assassinated.
~~ Gaius Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor, d. 44 BC

I must go in, the fog is rising.
~~ Emily Dickinson, poet, d. 1886


Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
~~ George Bernard Shaw, playwright, d. November 2, 1950

Thomas Jefferson--still survives...

~John Adams, US President, d. July 4, 1826 (Actually, Jefferson had died earlier that same day.)

This is the last of earth! I am content.
~~ John Quincy Adams, US President, d. February 21, 1848

See in what peace a Christian can die.
~ Joseph Addison, writer, d. June 17, 1719

I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
~~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, d. 1519

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

Book Cover

Immortal last words - Terry Breverton

Dying Words
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Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson, writer and TV Presenter, including the popular TV show - Top Gear

"The engine sounds like Victorian plumbing — it looks like Victorian plumbing as well, to be honest."

"He genuinely looked terrified. The poor man, he's actually seen the books. In England we have this one-eyed Scottish idiot."

"Then there’s the styling. Or rather, there isn’t. Any attempt to give these cars a tapering roofline or a curved rear end is wasteful of precious capacity, which means all of them look exactly – and I mean exactly – like chest freezers. And because they have such tiny wheels they actually look like chest freezers on casters. And that in turn means they look absurd." - Sunday Times June 8, 2008, reviewing the Nissan GT-R [3]

"Like many men, I can never find anything that I’m looking for, even when I’m actually looking at it. In a fridge, I think milk is actually invisible to the male eye. And so, it turns out, are dirty great holes in the fence."

"I think it’s a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit."

"Now we've been told in this new series, we've got to feature more green cars. So here's one. It's really the greenest car we could find, really. "(A bright green Lamborghini Murcielago)

"Now we get quite a few complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show, so we're kicking off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all. " (a Ferrari F430)

"A turbo, exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, with a supercharger, air goes in,witchcraft happens and you go faster."

"This is the latest S Class. Now available with a very economical: Twin-turbo, Six litre... I don't mean economical do I? That's the wrong word..."

"I do apologise, we have wasted your evening, there are no good Korean or Malaysian cars."

"You know? That's the nineteenth caravan we've destroyed on this programme in 12 months."

"At this point the Germans are probably rolling around on the floor laughing, So: "Ze tommies have made ein car out of spit und kleenex, zhey will be crushed." (Testing the MG SV prototype)

[Announcing the Top Gear Awards in December 2005] “Now the best gas guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: the Range Rover Sport which achieved eight miles to the gallon; the Bugatti Veyron which achieved four miles to the gallon; and Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel and didn’t move an inch.

“What did the Morris Marina compete against? Walking? The bus?"

“Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”

“Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.”

“I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”

Biography Jeremy Clarkson
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